Everyone has a wide range of worries – health problems, children, work,
relationships, financial hardships, things we hear and see every day, etc. – which Stephen Covey describes as our ‘circle of concern’. From within the ‘circle of concern’, we could separate things into two parts: what I have no control over vs. what I could have control over. The latter group is described as a ‘circle of influence’. If you want to be more self-aware, take a look at which of the 2 circles you focus most of your energy and time on.
Positive Focus Reactive Focus
Positive energy enlarges Circle of Influence Negative energy reduces Circle of Influence
PROACTIVE people focus their REACTIVE people on the other hand,
efforts on the ‘circle of influence’ by focus their attention on the ‘circle of
working on things they CAN do concern’. They focus on the
something about. Their energy is weaknesses of other people and
positive, which magnifies the end circumstances they DO NOT have
result and increases their ‘circle of any control over.
influence’.
* References: The 7 habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey
How can I tell which circle I focus my efforts on? Take a look at the be’s and the have’s.The ‘circle of influence’ is filled with the be’s: I can be more
hardworking, I can be more creative, I can be more cooperative, I can be more focused, I can be more patient, I can be more loving, etc. The proactive approach is to change from the inside out. Our inner attitude and response to the circumstance powerfully affects our external circumstance. Positivity attracts more positivity and creates more positivity.
The ‘circle of concern’ is filled with the have’s: If I only had a better boss, If I only had a more patient spouse, If I could just have more time to myself, If I only had more money, etc. Anytime we think the problem is out there, that thought is the problem! This change paradigm is ‘outside-in’- so we are waiting for what’s out there to change before we change. But that empowers what’s out there to control us. We aren’t taking
the proactive initiative necessary to affect positive change.
If our focus and energy leans towards the ‘circle of influence’, we can be at our best and most successful. It’s so much easier to blame others or the conditions for our situation, but we are responsible for controlling our lives and powerfully influencing our circumstances by working on the be, on what we are. If we really want to improve our situation, we can work on the one thing over which we have control – myself. Happiness is a proactive choice. We can be happy and accept things that we currently can’t control, while we focus our efforts on the things that we can control. By working on ourselves instead of worrying about the conditions, we are able to influence the conditions.
Everyone reading this can see the value of inner change and try or continue to meditation method to achieve that. Knowing that change must come from within is the first step to success. Being determined and making the change happen is becoming successful. Will you be a BE’s person or a HAVE’s person?