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I have everything I thought I wanted, and I'm still not happy. Why?

Excerpt from Quora by Claire Lee

During my childhood, I believed being an adult would bring me happiness.

In my 20's, I imagined my mind would be happier and more stable in my 30s.

I felt like I would be happier if I had grown a little taller.

I felt like being a little smarter would make me happier.

My conceptions regarding happiness did not bring me happiness in reality.

I looked around me. People who possess a lot more than me were not happy and want to have more. Also, I saw some other people who lived in less favorable conditions live happier lives.

Actually, for a long period of time, I had felt my past regrets, mistakes, and wounds could prevent me from being happy. However, I could not escape them.

One day, I met a meditation course. Through meditation practice, I could look back on my life and empty my mind. Gradually I was able to find freedom.

I found a lot of images that I took pictures of my life. As I threw them away, my mind became lighter and lighter. Also, I saw many images of the future filled in my mind. The past, present, and future are all mingled up in a person's mind. What I wish to have in the future in my mind was made based on my self-centered desires and drove me to pursue happiness.

All the things I wanted to achieve were illusions in my mind. They were just self-centered illusions I made with that desire. Because I chased illusions, there was no fulfillment within my mind.

During my meditation practice, I learned how much I was not living in the moment.

For instance, when I was washing the dishes, my mind was already a few minutes ahead. It is because of the fact that I wanted to finish it soon and take a rest.

Even when I was working, I imagined that I would have a happier rest in my resting time after it. So, my mind already went toward the end of the day.

I couldn't be satisfied with the present because I always thought of a better future subconsciously. After I realized it, I discarded those delusions. As I did that, the only Truth that had no past, present, or future remained within me. Thus, I could fully focus on what I do.

When there is only one mind, the mind of Truth within me, life becomes absolute happiness.

I'm grateful because what I'm doing right now is everything, I don't need to create an unnecessary desire for it. Naturally, I stopped comparing myself to others and truly understood their distinct characteristics and roles. Therefore, I realized that we are one because each person has their own unique value.

Being in the moment, appreciating, and living just for today, not pursuing desires, has given me a better life.

Finding your true mind is the key to happiness. Now you can easily find your original mind that is always satisfied and lacks nothing.


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