How to deal with loneliness?

Excerpt from Quora, by Sophie Hwang, Former Project manager of developing S/W system


Loneliness is the essence of man. All beings in this universe are lonely.

A poet sang about Loneliness like this.

To the Daffodil

Don't cry.

Because you are lonely, you are human.

To live is to endure Loneliness.

Don't wait for the call that's not coming.

When it snows, walk on the snowy path.

When it rains, walk on the rainy path.

At the reed forest, the black-breasted longbill is watching you.

At times, even God sheds tears, feeling lonely.

Because of Loneliness, the birds are sitting on the boughs.

Because of Loneliness, you are sitting by the stream.

Once a day, even the mountain shadow comes down to the village, feeling lonely.

Even the bell rings outward, out of Loneliness.

by Chung Ho-seung


It is human to feel lonely. Humans often have to endure Loneliness. When you realize your Loneliness, it can be a turning point for you. You can begin to become more aware of who you are and what is it in me that creates these feelings and circumstances. You began to ask these fundamental questions of who is this 'me' that feels lonely.

In my case, Loneliness was so deep-rooted and painful that I reflected on my existence. I decided to try meditation to see if it could help. Through this, I realized that what I thought was my identity was just a collection of pictures that I had collected throughout my life that I built my world and my identity out of. In meditation, I was able to throw away these pictures of my life as if I were peeling the layers of an onion layer by layer. A lot of feelings and emotions buried in these pictures of life were also discarded. The more I threw away, the lighter the weight of my life became, and the brighter my consciousness became.

Loneliness was the hardest thing to discard. It was in the deepest layer of that onion. Loneliness was so primal and deep-rooted that it was like taking out my flesh or intestines.

Through tough times I was able to transform from a lonely narcissist boy to a mature man. I found my true self. I think we can end Loneliness only when we realize that fundamentally we are all one. Then we can find true togetherness not only with close relationships but with everyone, constantly feeling connected. Daffodils bloom beautifully on fragile flower beds after overcoming the harsh winter. Like a season in our lives, Loneliness can move us to become our true selves and blossom into something we never imagined.

Thank you for reading to the end. 🎈✨🌷


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