When I made a girlfriend, I always felt anxious.
1. I was anxious when I send a message to my girlfriend and there's no answer after reading it.
2. I was anxious when I called my girlfriend and she didn't answer my call several times.
3. I was anxious when a girlfriend talks with a guy other than me (a friend I'm close to or a friend my girlfriend knows).
So, when I met my girlfriend in this state, I expressed dissatisfaction or gave her a lot of notice . When there was another man, I asked her to look at me only. When I saw her getting close to a man other than me, I was jealous and anxious for no reason. I thought I was uglier than other men, and I was worried if she liked him more. So when my girlfriend was with another man, I was always full of complaints. My girlfriend expressed affection to relieve my mood and tried hard to do what I wanted. When I called in the evening, anxiety doubled if she didn't answer the phone. I couldn't sleep well, and I had made dozens of phone calls. I wondered if she was leaving me, if she didn't like me, or if she wanted to break up with me. I liked my girlfriend so much, but on the other hand, I was worried that she might leave me.
However, when I met her the next day, I often found out that I was wrong. This situation happened repeatedly every time I have a girlfriend. As a result, all the girlfriends I met suffered from my attachment and struggled before leaving.
Really, I had no idea why I did that or why this was making my girlfriend hard.
I just thought what I was doing was so natural because I liked my girlfriend so much, and when my girlfriend didn't understand my feelings like this, I was so sad and full of complaints. Because of these feelings, I had a hard time myself, Moreover, there were so many days when I couldn't sleep because I was unable to control myself.
My friend recommended me to meditate.
The teacher who helps meditation explained that the human body is like a camera and always takes pictures to life lived, and that is living as a slave to this picture. And he told me that this meditation can subtract the minds, which are the pictures I took. Looking back at myself and the pictures of my mind that I had taken while dating, I began to understand how much I obsessed with my girlfriend and why I wanted to own her like that way.
And I realized that I was always at fault and rationalized by blaming my girlfriend for everything if anything happened. I found out that all this was my fault, not the other person's fault.
As I continued to abandon my feelings of blaming my opponent through meditation, my feelings of anxiety began to disappear.
And rather than blaming the other person, I focused on my mind, and as I knew that the mind was a picture and a fake, I started to feel more and more relaxed.
When I abandoned my obsession, Since then, I have learned that the more comfortable and free she feels when she is with me, the closer she is to me rather than away from me. I realized that I just need to be nice to my girlfriend when I meet her rather than owning her.
It influenced not only my relationship with my girlfriend, but also everyone around me. I learned through meditation that when I grew up as an only child, I was possessive and greedy, and as much as I abandoned those minds, I found my true self, and I became that free and peaceful.
The situation hasn't changed, but everything has changed as I change my mind. When I found out that it was all my fault and that the obsession had made me and my opponent difficult, I wanted to abandon it so much. When I abandoned everything and found myself, I was always happy no matter who I was with.
Now, even if I meet my girlfriend, I feel free and always comfortable. Thanks to this method of meditation.
I hope you will be able to find your true self through this method and always be happy, no matter who you are with.
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